I had rotator cuff surgery one week ago today. They had to grind down two bones then do repairs on the tissue that had gotten damaged between them. This is painful, kids. I am now the world's worst one-handed typist. I have lots of oxycontin but whoa nelly, that stuff is so powerful I am being stingy about taking it.

As predicted, I am starting to go bananas with boredom. I feel great every day until around 1:00, then I just go all frail and feel like fainting, so I have to take a pill and nap. Then I wake up and the cycle repeats itself. My awake time between naps is about 3 or 4 hours. Monday I see the doctor and he will hopefully take out the staples (8 in all) and then maybe I can get a pt schedule and maybe move back home. That visit with him will be my big birthday celebration. I must add that my date from a few weeks ago sent me a lovely floral arrangement, has called me, and is waiting till I go home to visit me. (Good thing because a one-handed makeup job would scare any man silly.)

I am very comfy here at Bro Phil's. Sis Chrissy is wonderfully patient and kind. I have zero complaints except I miss my cat Chauncey and I miss my own space. Yesterday we went to visit Chaunce and he was so angry at me...he bit me twice and then got all lovey...confusion as to why he has to stay inside.

If I were home I would be fretting about projects and drowning in guilt for not being busy. Chris has to get tough with me now and then since I think I should be doing things, then I hurt myself and feel useless. Even emailing is exhausting. Wow. Who would ever think that a little scratch below the skin and a few stitches would wipe me out? This body I have been using for 54 years to carry around my intellect is apparently A Force To Be Reckoned With.

I am already tired just from this 20 minutes. So off I go to choose a soft nest to crash again. It's only late morning but the Frail Flower must take a restorative nap. Poor pitiful li'l Sis Pam, only able to carry on with the help of a cast of thousands. Now who wants to peel me a grape?

Be careful in Connecticut today!

The TV weather guys are delighted that there is a kitchen sink storm outside. I tried to get to work but had to turn back, a rare concession to the slippery roads. At the bottom of the Hill ("It's always easier to go down than up, Mom" per Noah at 10), I had to wait out a tractor-trailer snarl near the highway. Second thoughts about my little 10-mile commute so I slid my way to a Friendly's and called in to the office. Now I had to go BACK UP the Treacherous Hill, white-knuckling all the way. My light little Nissan made it in 2nd gear altho I didn't make the slope of the driveway. The car is beached as far up as it would go out of the way of the plows.

Another day alone in the house. This was great from Friday till Monday. Now this day will give me cabin fever for sure. My friends are still on vacation and Bro Phil's house is too far to attempt. Yeah, I have some dvd's to watch but yesterday I maxxed out on relaxing and feel at loose ends now. Good day to work on resolutions, maybe venture out with the camera, catch up on artsy projects. Lucky I have vacation time or my paycheck would be evaporating.

Note added later: I got started on those resolutions and altered my fave gray pants and my embroidered denim skirt. Lots more to do, of course. How empowering to actually get up off the saddle and do something productive! And I printed up the list and will hang it in plain sight so I can't avoid it.

DebbieDay made me think of all the beaches I have been to in my life. Hmm. Connecticut, Rhode Island, Provincetown, Maine, South Carolina, Gulf of Mexico, California. (Not counting all the lakes and a few rivers, which are fresh water anyway and never seem like legit beaches.) You gotta have the salty smell and wide ocean vistas for it to count, sound effects from a crew of determined seagulls with their cranky cawing. Sand dunes are good and any kind of indigenous beach grass, then I expect to see shells and seaweed strewn here and there. I don't require boats and lighthouses but a few sprinkled on the horizon don't hurt.

Empty beaches with no people are best. Please - no surfers, boomboxes, droopy-diapered toddlers or bathing beauties with overweight midriffs joggling. Happy sandy dogs are always welcome, since they act out the goofy joy they feel and make me feel happy just to look at them. I like to see the occasional old person shuffling along with a hat and scarf tied up tight and I just love it when you see a single shoe lost by somebody having a mystery.

My son called Wednesday morning from Cambridge and said he felt like driving down to CT to fix dinner for me. Odd behaviour, but welcome. He came at 6 with his 6-year girlfriend and they fixed fajitas for me and Bro Phil and Sis Chris. Excellent meal, then we did a present exchange. He gave me a ring he bought for me in Seattle 4 years ago and lost in his stuff till now. He is scatter-brained at anything but mental efforts... He is doing his papers at MIT to get his masters and has applied for his Phd there afterward. If that does not fly then he has a choice of teaching or going to a friend's company in California. It all sounds like more academics for him, and this beautiful girlfriend (size 8, blond...but still nice) may have to marry him to get him to settle down. He will be 31 in January! And still fiddling with educating himself to the nth degree leaving me with NO grandchildren, lol. It's time to sell this house and get a condo since I will never be a full-time Mom again and the extra bedrooms are wasted now. I do love the ring he got for me, late but beloved.