I am at a bad money place. Maybe I should send out one of those Nigerian Prince spam emails and get everyone to donate. Gas money, the oil bill...I seldom buy food (I eat at school as necessary) but Chaunce is down to the dust in the bottom of his bucket. I did NOT need two new pairs of dress pants so they are going back to the store for a refund. And why on earth did I need 4 movie rentals and Chinese food tonight...anyway, it will be a tough week. (I did save some money by changing my phone plan. Now I will have unlimited long distance, which I need to keep in touch with the Betties. And the Date is going South for a visit and will get me cigarettes and he won't want money right away.)

Just dammit. I hate being tight with cash. I work hard and make twice as much as I ever thought I could (and a f*ckofalot more than many folks), now I am having to be tight. How can I quit spending? Let's see: quit smoking, quit buying clothes, stop with the meds - NOT-($100 a month), drop my ISP at home, no more jewelry findings, no more DVD's, stop buying oil and live chilly, and quit with my hairdresser. Hmmm. It gets very tangled.

Crikey, what a pain in the ass money has been all my life! Why not just give it freely? HAH, there is a karmic lesson here that I cannot seem to learn or even articulate.

I just can't stand discomfort. Poor little me. No new dress pants. The horror of generic cat food. Therapy, anyone? Isn't there a starving world out there that is in Very Deep Shit while I suffer over the cost of Chinese food? Guilt, mea culpa, poor me. Carpe Diem, folks.

Looks like I am a Sunday person for posting.The work week is altogether too full lately. We worked like crazy to get the whole school ready for this coming Tuesday, when the kids arrive to register. This means classrooms, books, faculty meetings, handbooks: every single thing you need to do at a boarding school, we did. Then we had a formal sit-down dinner Friday night with filet mignon and all the trimmings. I was so tired I hardly tasted it, and was asleep by ten.

This long weekend has featured two (more)days of yard-sale with Sis. I am now at home relaxing, about to do some jewelry-making with the TV blasting away.

Last night we tried to watch "The Hills Have Eyes" and were so thoroughly disgusted we switched it off. I mean it was awful to put those degrading concepts out there, just mean and cruel. I like horror movies but not violent near-porn. Nasty stuff, my friends. Avoid it!

I don't remember when horror movies went over the edge into just plain gross, but lately I won't watch them. Last night was a test after 6 months or more and yup - I now hate them. Or at least that type. (Still love a good zombie, though.)There is no fantasy or imagination lately. It's all slice 'n' dice - and in this movie, they were eating first a dog then a parakeet and it looked like they were headed for people. Not funny or over-the-top like it wouldn't really happen. It looked real and gave off a toxic sense of meanness so you felt like this was too serious. Where oh where did Godzilla and Gamara go? Or Mothra or Bela Lugosi? Sometimes you wanna see the zippers on the costumes.

Tons 'o' rain and wind here in Connecticut. It blew an expensive potted plant off the porch rail, so now I have to salvage the plant and go buy another pot. Branches down but nothing major. I thought I had fixed the seal on the car trunk but guess not. It is wet in there and making a yukky smell. I guess I have to buy a tube of black glop and build up the seal? Last time I cleaned it and used a hair dryer on it to fluff up the rubber. Not good enough. Any hints would be welcome (cheap hints, my friends). In June I found that seedlings had sprung up in the carpet. How utterly organic!

I have done nothing for two days, not even cook food to eat. I have eaten a bag of Cheetos, a leftover potato, three cookies and some crackers. I had a pot of coffee yesterday and today plus glasses of soda now and then. Oh I did one thing. I took a bath. The TV has been on and I saw three movies which were not memorable.

So what is up? I guess I am exhausted. Workdays last week were all-consuming. I love my job and this lazy spell is recuperative to prepare for next week - this period before school starts is way too busy. Monday is creeping up already - here I am yawning and thinking of going to sleep by 9 tonight.

All of us in academia are hauling out the pencil cases for the new year. Getting the year ready on my level is exhausting. Everything has to be laid out two years ahead. Every teacher has to be listened to - and they are all prima donna's. Some awesome, some dorks. But they all get HR attention and academic backup from me (and others), regardless of the size or quality of their needs. I love my job and most of the time, the faculty is wonderful and they work incredibly hard. They all love kids in varying intensity, and although I am not much of a kid-person, I love the optimistic air of schools.

All the labororious prep that is expended is worth it when the kids show up with fresh uniforms and the campus gets rocking. I know that in a month the uniforms will be funky from minimally showered boys, the teachers will wilt and everyone will be questioning their career choice...yeah, it's up and down. Anyway, schools are great and I am buzzed with the season. The exhuberance of it keeps me seeing a positive future in all those kids, even the ones who take wrong turns. Most of them make it, and most of us love being able to see the world from the perspective of the kids. Yay! School is back!

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the president this morning. He told Bush that Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all the color drained from Bush's face, he then collaspsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, 'Just exactly how many is a brazilian?'