I saw the doctor monday and he said, DUH leave the sling on. I had stopped using it, a major no-no. and he gave me some exercises and said if i felt like it i could try driving next week.

i am SO sick of this, as we knew i would be. just the sight of my leisure clothes is abhorrent. i want to get make up on, choose an outfit, get in the car and go to work. NOT. I still can't put on certain garments which all ladies must wear on their uppermost parts and wihout that, I am surely not quite ready for prime time.

the dr also gave me a new pain med which is not so loopy. this is so i can do the exercises which are horrifying, unnatural, and make me sob with agony (sort of). really pathetic...trying reach both hands behind your back and inch your way up to your shoulder blades. Right. Maybe i can learn to ice skate, too. And tai chi while i am at it. if i get good at this i can avoid physical therapy.

the healing process has made a constant out of the occasional hurt my arm used to have. Hmmm. the benefit is that the hurt will diminish wheras before it was getting worse daily. when i saw the photos of what he repaired inside, yikes, no wonder. there was a schism of torn flesh where it was obviously meant to be one piece. then after he stitched it up you can't see that well becasue he closed the gap, so to speak.

i also have fetching pix of the metal burr scraping away at the bone. it was CSI all over again with no blood, as it is all inside, and it actually looks like a group of gooey oysters. I mean, not pretty but understandably ooookkkyy rather than gross.

Crazy me misses work, and i am mentally ready to be there. that two week recovery is a little optimistic. sometime next week i will get used to the new pain meds and maybe i can drive.

I am really feeling at loose ends here. Bro Phil and Sis Chris are wonderful. I can't thank them enough, but they may want some privacy ...although this house is so freakin enormous if you want somebody you have go yodelling from floor to floor.

 I talked to Tim today, Jane's retired marine husband. He had the same surgery and has ordered me to do the exercises. Charming man, former officer but orders from him wouldn't convince a duck to go to the pond. He generously offered to help me get dressed as often as I need him, surely a kinder neighbor couldn't be found.

I had rotator cuff surgery one week ago today. They had to grind down two bones then do repairs on the tissue that had gotten damaged between them. This is painful, kids. I am now the world's worst one-handed typist. I have lots of oxycontin but whoa nelly, that stuff is so powerful I am being stingy about taking it.

As predicted, I am starting to go bananas with boredom. I feel great every day until around 1:00, then I just go all frail and feel like fainting, so I have to take a pill and nap. Then I wake up and the cycle repeats itself. My awake time between naps is about 3 or 4 hours. Monday I see the doctor and he will hopefully take out the staples (8 in all) and then maybe I can get a pt schedule and maybe move back home. That visit with him will be my big birthday celebration. I must add that my date from a few weeks ago sent me a lovely floral arrangement, has called me, and is waiting till I go home to visit me. (Good thing because a one-handed makeup job would scare any man silly.)

I am very comfy here at Bro Phil's. Sis Chrissy is wonderfully patient and kind. I have zero complaints except I miss my cat Chauncey and I miss my own space. Yesterday we went to visit Chaunce and he was so angry at me...he bit me twice and then got all lovey...confusion as to why he has to stay inside.

If I were home I would be fretting about projects and drowning in guilt for not being busy. Chris has to get tough with me now and then since I think I should be doing things, then I hurt myself and feel useless. Even emailing is exhausting. Wow. Who would ever think that a little scratch below the skin and a few stitches would wipe me out? This body I have been using for 54 years to carry around my intellect is apparently A Force To Be Reckoned With.

I am already tired just from this 20 minutes. So off I go to choose a soft nest to crash again. It's only late morning but the Frail Flower must take a restorative nap. Poor pitiful li'l Sis Pam, only able to carry on with the help of a cast of thousands. Now who wants to peel me a grape?